About the author

Hi, I'm Roland.

I'm a 33 year old (as of the time of this writing) man with an OCD diagnosis. For a long time, I didn't have words for what was happening in my head. I just knew that I was different, that everyday life came with a unique set of challenges and a heightened anxiety that drove avoidance and risk aversion. I always seemed to deal with my own mind and the obstacles it set for me in a way that I naively thought was unique, and could not be understood by anyone.

I grew up learning how to hide my OCD and escape through immersing myself in work, sports, and other activities. I learned how to hide from my OCD as well as hide it, while my mind replayed the same thoughts a hundred times and constantly sounded alarms about non-existent events. I learned how to function while negotiating with my own mind around the clock, hoping that it would let me do things. How to look "fine" so I can fit in out in the real world.

Eventually, pretending stopped working. All those years of whipping myself into doing what I needed to do and ploughing through caught up with me, and I hit a rough patch where I had to face my demons and learn how to really tackle my disorder. This book is the story of how all these events came to be, and a vivid description of how I got to that point, and what happened next.

Why share something this personal?

You might disagree on whether or not my story is worth telling at all, but one undisputed fact remains: I’ve never even told my full story before. That in itself is, in my opinion, a worthy endeavor. If you have a story (or in my case a few hundred) to tell, I think you should at least tell it once. And yes, I realize that that’s in itself debatable, but this is one of my learnings from my own story. I hope that you also get to tell yours. For now, it’s my turn.

I wrote this book for myself, for fellow OCD sufferers, for my loved ones and theirs. The reality of daily life with OCD can be heavy. It can be dark, frightening, and lonely. I wrote My OCD Experience to put that reality into words that anyone can receive and empathize with.

I'm not a therapist or a clinician. I'm just a person who lives with OCD and decided to share their story in writing, for the love of writing. For my fellow OCD sufferers out there, this book is my way of saying: you're not the only one.

Outside the pages

When I'm not writing either about my experiences or my line of work, I'm doing my best to build a life I can be proud of and happy with: working a job in the tech world, spending time with family and friends, working out, going on long walks, learning about history, philosophy, or psychology, listening to music (especially with my lovely girlfriend), and working on my own well-being through physical and mental activities.

If anything in this book resonates with you, I'd genuinely love to hear from you. You can reach out through the contact page.